Aug 18, 2015

Fisher's of Men..........

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”  Matthew 4:19

I am embarrassed to say that I have never led anyone to the Lord. Not even my own children.  One was led by his grandmother, one was led by his dad and one by a sweet teacher!  What if I were to die tomorrow and have to look at Jesus in the face and say "no, I never led anyone to You."  Somehow sorry would just not be enough especially after all He has done for me in my life.   What if he asks me what I have done for His kingdom?  I don't know what I would say.  I have been nice.  I have been a giver.  I have been a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter, and friend.  Somehow that just doesn't seem like enough either!

My husband and I are doing a marriage study by Francis and Lisa Chan and something they said in chapter one hit me.......God is watching our every move!  EVERYTHING.....he knows every action we take, every thought we have, and hears every word we say.  I hope the day the Lord returns I am doing something great for His kingdom.  I hope it is pleasing to him!  I hope that by then I have led many people to Him.   

The good thing is that His mercies are new every day.  He paid for our sins long ago on the cross.  Have you ever thought about that day?  Picture those nails being driven through his hands and the pain and suffering he went through for US!  For me and for you!  (I am serious....stop right now and really think about's chilling to say the least!)

I was listening to Francis Chan preach on "The Biggest Lie in Your Life" and he said if someone were to interview your friends what would they say about you?  I would assume that my friends would say pretty good things about me.  BUT....what if someone was to interview GOD about me?  What would He say?  I am afraid he would say she was a hypocrite.  WOW!  Think about that for a minute.  It's the truth.  We are all one to some least those of us who choose to give advice, share our experiences, blog.....etc!  I know that I am.   As people we are far more concerned about our reputation or what people think about us than we are our character and what Christ thinks of us!  (ugh!  those are francis's words and that hurt!)

Lots of things I have written here on this blog were for you and not something I was following or doing myself.  I am embarrassed to admit that but it's true.

I am sorry for that.  Very sorry.  I mean that with every ounce of my being.  All I can say is that I meant well and at the times even believed what I was writing. 

If I am ever going to be a fisher of men then that needs to change.  I need to change.  Every minute of my life needs to change.  My thoughts need to change.  My actions need to change.  My mouth, my life, my everything.  And my words on here need to change.  They need to be true and real and honest!

This morning I had to go back and revisit my blog post A Broken Heart and listen to my preachers sermon again on healing from a broken heart.  Some of what I wrote I had to take my own advice.  It was hard to know that I was the author of those words just a few months back.  
One day I will share with you guys about my recent broken heart.  I am just not ready right now.  He is still growing me and giving me wisdom and strength to say it the right way.  

I want to be able to one day write or speak about it with total honesty and total healing!  The above scripture scares me but it is true.  I know that once I start to REALLY follow God's calling on my life people are not going to understand.  I actually have already started in many ways.....I just haven't talked about it yet!  I will probably loose followers and maybe even friends but that is ok.....I want this blog to be about Him and my personal walk and not about how many are reading and how many followers I have!  

I pray that the day I lead that first person to the Lord that the Lord and that person know that I come with a pure heart for share His good news and what He can do for your life.  What He has already done for you and for me!  But most of all I want the Lord to know I did it with a pure heart.....a heart of honesty and forgiveness!

Today I will go visit with a pastor at my church, who my husband and I have gotten really close to and who has touched our lives in a huge way and he will pray with me and continue to give me guidance and I hope to come back to my next blog post ready to become that fisher of men and I pray that you guys can read with complete confidence that I am who I say I am and I practice what I preach!  

I love each of you and pray for anyone that takes the time to read what I have on my heart at that time!  I mean that!  

God Bless!!!!

I love this picture of hubby's arm!  The old rugged cross and home.  Doesn't get any better than that!

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