Wow. Sometimes it's hard to practice what you preach! My last blog entry was on heart break and how to get over one with God's help!
The day I wrote that I never would have thought that I would, that week, have a broken heart myself again!
It is the worst feeling. My first instinct was to lash out and hurt in return but I feel God has been telling me to be still and be quiet. So I am. Is it easy? No. I have my weak moments every day. I have cried many tears the last two weeks as I permanently close that chapter of my life.
My mother in law quoted this scripture to me when I told her about my heart break.........it was perfect!
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17
To me that scripture means that the truth will come out and anything that was lied about or talked about will be covered again with the truth! I am claiming that.
My character means a lot to me and when it's questioned or twisted into something I know I am not it's hurtful especially when it was from someone that you love and thought loved you too.
I am a mother. I have been one for 19 years and that is all I have ever wanted to be. When I was little and someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up that is what I said.......a mother!
I am a good mother. Am I a perfect one? Gosh no but I try my hardest to do a good job.....the best I know how. I pray for my kids almost everyday! All of them.
I have been a really young mother and I am now an older more mature mother. I do things differently then I did with Taylor, who is almost 19 but you know what? Even at the ripe age of 22 and 20 we did a good job. He's a good boy. NEVER been in any trouble and pretty much tells us everything.....the good and the bad! We laugh sometimes and say "Good Lord son.....I wish you would not have told me that!!!!" (insert face with fingers in ears so I can't hear what he's saying!) Marc has said many times "Well I sure wouldn't have told my mom that at your age!" LOL
He isn't perfect and neither are his siblings but they are all created by God and loved by Him!
My point to all of this is........you can mess with me all you want. I know that I can't make everyone happy and I don't always say and do the right things even though I seriously try to be the best friend, daughter, mom, and wife that I know how to be. BUT.......don't mess with my kid! ANY OF THEM!
People need to learn that words are so harmful. Some people are strong and can let things roll off their back but some people let words stick with them for a long time.......sometimes forever. I am one of those people and so is one of my kids. I am working on helping myself and that child in this area.
I am trying to learn that our REAL friends know us and love us and I pray that people that don't really know us see Jesus in us and can make their own judgement.
Gossip is hurtful. It's wrong and it's so damaging. Have I been guilty of it? Of course. We all have but a couple of weeks ago I was so hurt from pure gossip that I vowed to never do it again!
If they gossip with you.....they will gossip about you! THAT I know is true!!!!
Something you "heard" is not fact.
Something someone says about someone and you are listening.....guess what? You are gossiping too! Something you hear and turn around and retell and add your own "facts" is gossip!
Gossip is a sin! Go read about it in the Bible. It's scary! But so good at the same time.
I will end with saying that aside from a handful of very special people and a little of our family the chapter of my life back "home" is closed. I realized that when I went home a couple of weeks ago. I have great memories and some really good friends that I will love and cherish forever but Sarita is now my home.
And a P.S.......mom's should stick together. Not judge each other and each others children! It doesn't matter who's kid is smarter, who's kid is in more sports, who has more money, or better cars, bigger house, what college they go to or will go to, or whatever.......we are all the same and all created by the same God!
Sorry to rant.......from now on I will certainly TRY to always practice what I preach!