Mar 2, 2015

A Broken Heart!

Have you ever had a broken heart?  I know I have.  Lots of times.  I have had a broken heart over small things that seemed huge to me at the time and some really big things that can still seem big to me to this day!

Our preacher preached on this yesterday and I will share the video at the bottom for anyone that might want to hear his sermon.  It could possibly be the best sermon I have heard to this day.  I know that it hit home for me and I cried a LOT!  And laughed some because he can be so funny too!  What was amazing was he actually stopped during his sermon because he felt the Holy Spirit so much that he took a second to honor and thank him for his Word!  I felt that too.  I knew that this was MY sermon.  One that I needed to hear!

Do you know what breaks a heart?  Unmet expectations.

I was thinking of my life and realized that I have/had a LOT of unmet expectations in my life.  From the time I was a little girl I put expectations on people.  My mom and dad were first!  I expected them to be married and us be a family forever.  They could not meet that expectation.  That was my first heart break.  It was horrible!  I took it really bad.  I STILL have issues to this day because of their divorce and in turn I have always put expectations on my husband that he can never possibly meet and so he has broken my heart at times also.

The feeling of a heart break can be physically painful.  My stomach hurts, my chest can hurt, I don't eat or sleep!  It's bad.  I mentally replay things over and over and most of all you feel lonely!
But you aren't alone.  God is there.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  He is there.

But as Pastor Bil said yesterday......God is closer than you think.  He is always there.  He already knows your pain.  He knew it before you did and took it all to the cross with him!

I can remember my worst heart break....even more so than my parents divorce.  The day my husband left me and our kids.  I felt so alone.  I felt like God didn't even love me.  I felt like he abandoned me.  My heart was literally broken in two.  It physically hurt to breathe.  I was embarrassed, ashamed and broken.
BUT....it took about a day for me to realize that He had not abandoned me and that I was not alone.  He was there all along and He was working in me and in my husband.  This was a trial and even with a broken heart I was going to survive and be better for it.

Pastor Bil said that if you get quiet enough in your crying you can actually hear God crying with you and that hit me.  He is right!  I know God has cried with me many times then tells me to GET UP, SHOW UP and PUT UP A FIGHT!

I did that.  I fought through my broken heart and fought for my marriage and for my husband when he didn't want to.  I knew I needed to pray for this man that left me!  That didn't want me anymore.  That was breaking our family up!  BUT I DID IT!  It wasn't easy and sometimes I didn't even know what to say.    BUT I WON!   I truly believe that God blessed me for it.

Again as Bil said...."he breathed a breath of fresh air on my life and my marriage!"  

Are we perfect?  Gosh no!!!  We have to work at it.  EVERY DAY!  I have to go to God every single day for my marriage but I am so thankful for that broken heart at that time for I wouldn't have the husband and the marriage I have now.

He wants to be there for all of us and heal our broken hearts but we have to go to him and sometimes, like with me, a broken heart can grow you into a better man or better women!

I feel like maybe the Lord breaks our hearts to make our heart right with Him.


Here is his sermon for any that would like to watch...........





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