May 28, 2014

Change!

Over the years I have noticed that hubby and I both are not big fans of change.  We know that this time in our life is God led for sure but it's still hard to see the dynamics of our family change.  I love our new house, hubby's new career change, our small town we now call home but I can't shake the sad feeling of leaving a huge part of my heart in Baytown!

That part of my heart is a 6 foot tall, blue eyed, dirty blonde haired, man child that I love with my WHOLE heart!!!

I knew this day would come and I knew I would be sad but never did I think that knot in my throat would be there most of the day.  I read an article this morning that got me to really thinking and this statement she said hit me like a ton of bricks......

It is graduation season. "Once he crosses that stage, once he takes his diploma in hand, he will begin to drift away."

What if that is true?  I am not sure if that blog is faith based but I do think that their is some truth to that statement.  It means leaving the nest, which Taylor has already done, going to college, me not knowing where he is at all times, trusting that he is making the best decisions, and really drifting away to becoming his own man!

My prayer today is that he drift in the right direction......that he drift towards God and not away from him!  I am praying for me.....for me to let go and in a healthy way!  I pray that God is preparing that future for Taylor and preparing his future spouse!
I am clinging to the thought that my baby has grown up and even if he is gone from my home he is still MY son.  No one can ever take that from me......the memory of being the ripe age of 22 when I felt him grown inside of me....nursing him for one whole year.......sending him to mother's day out for the first time.......putting him at BCA in kinder when we didn't even know how we would pay for it......being blessed to stay home and never miss an important event in his life and most recently the feeling of pride watching him walk across that stage and receive his diploma!

One thing I don't want to forget about graduation night is a gift I, along with Taylor and his Dad, got from Dr. Cimpean, who is the dean of high school.   I won't share it here but I was feeling some feelings guilt and he had just the right words at just the right time that night that I will NEVER forget!  He may never know how God used him that night!

So I will close in saying that I pray that I never know my son "a little less" as the article read but that I continue to know him in different ways.....so far I have known him as a baby, a toddler, a preteen, a teenager and I look forward to knowing him as a man, a husband and one day a dad!!!!

I am trying not too!!!!






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