May 9, 2014

Biblical Submission.......

A week or so ago I watched The View.....ONLY because Candace Cameron Bure was guest hosting.  God Bless her for putting herself through that!  Of course seconds after she comes out they get her book out and start questioning her about the part where she talks about submitting to her husband and Barbara looks at her in her serious, interviewing face and says "Is this something in the Bible?"  REALLY????

She has been accused of setting aside her own desires and dreams for the sake of being submissive!  Wonder if anyone has ever thought that maybe being the best mom she can be,  a great wife and Christ follower is a desire and dream of hers!

Anyway, it got me to thinking about this subject and even questioning myself if I "Biblically Submit" to my hubby fully and I think that I do or at least try.  I haven't always but over the many years of being married I have learned that it makes for a better marriage when you do!  The years I spent not being a Biblical wife I almost found myself divorced.  (Not saying at all that it was all my fault....just saying when we BOTH decided to be Biblical spouses things improved greatly!)

I also asked a few people that I really respect and know they have a great marriage what their definition of this was but first I asked my hubby and here was his answer........

"Biblical submission in marriage is most often associated negatively with authority over someone as in one is higher or better than the other. It is actually the complete opposite. If one is truly a follower of Christ then there is a burning desire to please their spouse and submit to them out of love. In turn the other spouse would want to do the  same. Each submitting to one another in a selfless manner.

In the way a follower should submit to Christ through a personal relationship where Christ completely guides our life should be the template for how a marriage should be.
Biblical submission is not about authority its all about attitude."

I agree completely with him!  On The View they asked Candace if she ever "won" a fight with her husband and she handled herself so well!  She told them there is no winning.  You get your say but in the end the husband is the head of the household and he makes the ultimate decision but if done right the decision is almost always agreed upon anyway.

Here was the answer from my friend when I asked her what her definition this is the wife's version.  Her and her husband have been married a long time and are crazy about each other to this day!  I am sure they aren't perfect but they have it right for sure!

1 - hold your tongue, 2 - respect his decisions, 3 - let him be in charge, 4 - try to cooperate with him in decision making, etc. That may not be really what your looking for…let me try again. Submission in marriage is when the wife (even though she may be "stronger" in some things) let's the husband be the "man" of the house. She respects and upholds his decisions and "steps back" when she sees that he has strong feelings about something and even if she disagrees, as long as it's not against Biblical principles, will go along with it. It's the toughest when the wife is a strong personality (like me!) and has to "give in" sometimes because she is the "weaker vessel".

I loved her answer and even though those things can be hard to do we, as wives, should practice that more! The man was made to be the head of the household and we were made to serve along side of him! When this is done it really does make a huge difference. We, as women though have to be willing to try!

I have decided that I am going to really start studying what the Bible says on this and how I can honor God in my marriage and how I am at being a wife! I wish people wouldn't associate the word "submission" with something so bad! If they saw it the way God did there would be a lot less divorce in this world!

As I study I will share more thoughts from marriages I respect and pattern after and will share them with you!

God Bless!

Here is a clip of Candace talking about it! (Remember her as DJ Tanner on Full House?)

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