May 28, 2014

Change!

Over the years I have noticed that hubby and I both are not big fans of change.  We know that this time in our life is God led for sure but it's still hard to see the dynamics of our family change.  I love our new house, hubby's new career change, our small town we now call home but I can't shake the sad feeling of leaving a huge part of my heart in Baytown!

That part of my heart is a 6 foot tall, blue eyed, dirty blonde haired, man child that I love with my WHOLE heart!!!

I knew this day would come and I knew I would be sad but never did I think that knot in my throat would be there most of the day.  I read an article this morning that got me to really thinking and this statement she said hit me like a ton of bricks......

It is graduation season. "Once he crosses that stage, once he takes his diploma in hand, he will begin to drift away."

What if that is true?  I am not sure if that blog is faith based but I do think that their is some truth to that statement.  It means leaving the nest, which Taylor has already done, going to college, me not knowing where he is at all times, trusting that he is making the best decisions, and really drifting away to becoming his own man!

My prayer today is that he drift in the right direction......that he drift towards God and not away from him!  I am praying for me.....for me to let go and in a healthy way!  I pray that God is preparing that future for Taylor and preparing his future spouse!
I am clinging to the thought that my baby has grown up and even if he is gone from my home he is still MY son.  No one can ever take that from me......the memory of being the ripe age of 22 when I felt him grown inside of me....nursing him for one whole year.......sending him to mother's day out for the first time.......putting him at BCA in kinder when we didn't even know how we would pay for it......being blessed to stay home and never miss an important event in his life and most recently the feeling of pride watching him walk across that stage and receive his diploma!

One thing I don't want to forget about graduation night is a gift I, along with Taylor and his Dad, got from Dr. Cimpean, who is the dean of high school.   I won't share it here but I was feeling some feelings guilt and he had just the right words at just the right time that night that I will NEVER forget!  He may never know how God used him that night!

So I will close in saying that I pray that I never know my son "a little less" as the article read but that I continue to know him in different ways.....so far I have known him as a baby, a toddler, a preteen, a teenager and I look forward to knowing him as a man, a husband and one day a dad!!!!

I am trying not too!!!!






May 9, 2014

Biblical Submission.......

A week or so ago I watched The View.....ONLY because Candace Cameron Bure was guest hosting.  God Bless her for putting herself through that!  Of course seconds after she comes out they get her book out and start questioning her about the part where she talks about submitting to her husband and Barbara looks at her in her serious, interviewing face and says "Is this something in the Bible?"  REALLY????

She has been accused of setting aside her own desires and dreams for the sake of being submissive!  Wonder if anyone has ever thought that maybe being the best mom she can be,  a great wife and Christ follower is a desire and dream of hers!

Anyway, it got me to thinking about this subject and even questioning myself if I "Biblically Submit" to my hubby fully and I think that I do or at least try.  I haven't always but over the many years of being married I have learned that it makes for a better marriage when you do!  The years I spent not being a Biblical wife I almost found myself divorced.  (Not saying at all that it was all my fault....just saying when we BOTH decided to be Biblical spouses things improved greatly!)

I also asked a few people that I really respect and know they have a great marriage what their definition of this was but first I asked my hubby and here was his answer........

"Biblical submission in marriage is most often associated negatively with authority over someone as in one is higher or better than the other. It is actually the complete opposite. If one is truly a follower of Christ then there is a burning desire to please their spouse and submit to them out of love. In turn the other spouse would want to do the  same. Each submitting to one another in a selfless manner.

In the way a follower should submit to Christ through a personal relationship where Christ completely guides our life should be the template for how a marriage should be.
  
Biblical submission is not about authority its all about attitude."

I agree completely with him!  On The View they asked Candace if she ever "won" a fight with her husband and she handled herself so well!  She told them there is no winning.  You get your say but in the end the husband is the head of the household and he makes the ultimate decision but if done right the decision is almost always agreed upon anyway.

Here was the answer from my friend when I asked her what her definition was......so this is the wife's version.  Her and her husband have been married a long time and are crazy about each other to this day!  I am sure they aren't perfect but they have it right for sure!

1 - hold your tongue, 2 - respect his decisions, 3 - let him be in charge, 4 - try to cooperate with him in decision making, etc. That may not be really what your looking for…let me try again. Submission in marriage is when the wife (even though she may be "stronger" in some things) let's the husband be the "man" of the house. She respects and upholds his decisions and "steps back" when she sees that he has strong feelings about something and even if she disagrees, as long as it's not against Biblical principles, will go along with it. It's the toughest when the wife is a strong personality (like me!) and has to "give in" sometimes because she is the "weaker vessel".

I loved her answer and even though those things can be hard to do we, as wives, should practice that more! The man was made to be the head of the household and we were made to serve along side of him! When this is done it really does make a huge difference. We, as women though have to be willing to try!

I have decided that I am going to really start studying what the Bible says on this and how I can honor God in my marriage and how I am at being a wife! I wish people wouldn't associate the word "submission" with something so bad! If they saw it the way God did there would be a lot less divorce in this world!

As I study I will share more thoughts from marriages I respect and pattern after and will share them with you!

God Bless!

Here is a clip of Candace talking about it! (Remember her as DJ Tanner on Full House?)








May 7, 2014

WHY? you ask!!

I know I really don't have to give an explanation but almost everyday I get asked about Taylor and why he's not going with us to Sarita.  So here it is......

First, let me say that this decision was not easy at all!  It came with lots of tears on my part and a lot of hesitation but after talking it out a lot with each other and with Taylor and most importantly PRAYER we decided to let him stay here for the summer and get a job.

He has been so blessed to have been asked by at least three GREAT families to live with them until he goes to college!  He chose the house he already spends a lot of time at anyway and feels at home!
Mamma Kay, as the boys call her, is such a precious lady and as Taylor says is a great cook!  I know she is taking good care of my boy.  It's him I worry about.....he can be a slob!!  LOL

I am 41 but I do remember when I was his age and his Dad and I were dating.  If my parents or his parents would have said they were moving to the country in a small town where we knew no one we would not have wanted to go either.  Heck, Marc and I were saying we were getting married at that time and a year later we did!

Taylor has lots of friends and a girlfriend here and I know he doesn't want to leave them.  He will already be leaving most of them in August and some it might be the last time to see them.  College means new friends and only some old ones do you stay connected with.

Does that mean he doesn't love us or wants to be away from us?  No!  Actually, he is having a difficult time adjusting to this new way of life for us too!  I pray that he starts to feel at home soon and has a great summer before it's time to enter the real world!

He and I talk every day......a few times a day!  I text him each morning to see if he's up ready for school and he lets me know where he is at all times!   While we are here in the hotel in Baytown he comes to see us, eats with us, and has a brother date on Friday with his little brothers.

As sad as I was to watch him pull away that Thursday evening I know God is telling me that he's 18 and we are just moving on to a new stage in life.  It's time for him to be a man and to grow up some more!  I have probably been what some call a helicopter mom and have been accused many times of being over protective and trying to control everything he does, says, wears, etc.......
God has really spoke to me over the past month and is telling me to let him spread his wings even if that means he makes a mistake here and there!  That is what grows up in life!  That's hard!  My natural momma instinct is to protect him for all hurt and problems!

So that is it in a nutshell on my part and here is a text my boy sent me last week that are his thoughts in a nutshell........ (this post was not easy......the knot is back and tears, tears, tears!!!!)