Mar 21, 2011

Special Guest Blogger for Marriage Monday!

I am so excited to present Marriage Monday written by my good friend from the popular blog "I Am Especially Fond of You". She and her husband have have an amazing testimony that could have only been possible with a Godly marriage. Please visit her blog to learn about this special family!

Marriage Monday by: Christy Dunnam

How fun is this?!? It’s my first time ever to guest post, and I’m so honored Lesley invited me today. My name is Christy, and my husband, Kelvin, and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary June 22! We were 10 when we got married! Just kidding, of course, but we were VERY young, 18 and 20. My how far we’ve come! I had a crush on Kelvin when I was in sixth grade and remember day dreaming on the bus about how wonderful it would be to be his girlfriend. Little did I know my dreams would come true a few years later when we started dating. I didn’t know I would love him more today than I ever did all those years ago. Somehow I think I will say the same thing 20 years from now.

So, today when I saw on Lesley’s blog she was having a hard time coming up with something, I emailed her with an idea. I suggested we women need to remember to encourage our men. I was reminded of this the other night when Kelvin was kidding around with a friend of ours and was telling me to tell him what a good cook he was (cooking fajitas over the fire pit--YUM-O). I proceeded to pour on the compliments, thick! He was joking, but he still loved it when I went on over him. We women tend to think about complimenting our husbands, as silly, I guess would be the word. The truth is, they thrive on us telling them how much we appreciate them (who doesn't like that?), how manly they are, how good they are at something, even something small. I know I don't compliment and encourage Kelvin enough, so I was glad for the reminder this weekend (even if he was kidding.).

We need to nag less and build up more. In the book, The 5 Love Languages, the author speaks to the fact that a huge majority of men receive love through words of affirmation. So, even if you think it’s silly to tell your husband you appreciate him taking out the trash or picking up his towel, or washing your car, or giving the kids a bath or washing his toothpaste out of the sink, you should tell him anyway. Tell him how haute he is, what an awesome cook he is and how attracted you are to him. Tell him that if you had to do it all over again, you would choose him. Tell him that he makes your day, that you are madly in love with him and that when he plays with the kids it melts your heart. Tell him you love him and think he hung the moon. Slap him on the rear end and holler, “that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Brag on him in front of the kids and his peers. (And speaking of peers, don’t ever cut him down in front of anyone.) Keep telling him things to build him up. Don’t just think these things; say them OUT LOUD! Put it on your “to do” list. You will begin to notice a difference in him, and you will reap the benefits!

Well, there is probably so much more I could say, but I need to go stroke my man’s ego!


e-Mom said...

Wonderful, encouraging thoughts! Our husbands do like to be told how much they bless us... especially the men who have the "gift of the gab."

My husband is a talker too, and he loves to hear the words "Thank you" the most. To know he's pleased me means the world to him.

Thanks for linking up to Marriage Monday today, and sharing Christy's wise words with us.

Blessings, e-Mom ღ

Lisa Maria said...

This post has so many truths in it! I learned them late in our marriage but, thankfully, not too late.

We don't realise how much power we have to break down our husbands. It doesn't take much for them to believe that they fail at being good husbands and fathers. Likewise it doesn't take much to build them up either.

Thanks for this wonderful reminder!

Love & Blessings

Wife of Rob said...

What a wonderful post...there isn't anything that Dr. Chapman writes that I don't love! I have ALWAYS loved the Five Love Languages...and I especially love The Four Seasons of Marriage. Thank you for the wonderful reminder about the way that our guys are "wired"!