Feb 7, 2011

Marriage Monday.....

I saw this on another blog and thought it might be fun to start this! While I am far from an expert on marriage I have learned WHOLE LOT in my 17 years of being married. It is a known fact around my church and with my friends that we have had our share of problems in our marriage and even contemplated the "D" word at one point. I am not going to say the word because one thing I have learned is that is a word that should not even exist in your marriage vocabulary! Never say it, never think it and definitely never do it! (of course some circumstances are different, like if you are being physically abused and some other cases....if that is you please get help now!)
I do believe strongly that couples give up way to easy and even divorce over petty things. No one ever said marriage was going to be a cake walk your whole married life!
I have been asked a few times over the last few months how we made it through our struggles and how we made our marriage stronger. Short answer....LOTS of HARD work and lots of prayer!
We got married way to young and while I like to tease our parents and say "WHY did you let us get married that young???" They really didn't have a choice....we were in love and we were getting married whether they wanted us to or not! I do believe that God brought us together....there are just to many things about our family and our marriage to not know that God had and still has a plan for us. I actually think that we are starting to really live that plan and I am excited to see what the future has to hold.

To get back to how we made it through.....

The biggest sacrifice was that we decided to work it out even though both of us were hurt, sad, scared and felt like we didn't have a marriage. But even with those feeling we still knew we were supposed to try.

We made a LOT of changes. We distanced ourselves from some friends and certain situations that weren't good for us. We learned we can't listen to "the world" but have to listen to Him. Don't listen to the people that say "you deserve to be happy...if that means leaving then you need to leave"....that was not God's plan for marriage. Remember the for "better or for worse" part? We don't like the worse part as it makes us uncomfortable! BUT...we really did stand in front of God and said both words!

I stayed in the word, as my preacher called it. Meaning I read my Bible a LOT! I pray constantly through the day and even through the night. I say I because I believe at that time my husband ran from God, which caused an even bigger spiritual battle between God and Satan in his mind. But I remember thinking that if he's not going to walk with God then I will do it for the both of us.

We actually moved...not that our house had anything to do with our marriage but it was a fresh start to our new marriage and life!

Most importantly we made a commitment to commit to and not miss church. (now sometimes you have to miss but not very often!) We got involved in a small group and we surrounded ourselves with people that if we were to fall apart again then they would be warriors for us and our marriage.
(Let me clarify by saying we had people that prayed and worried about us then just not as many as we have now!)

We continue to educate ourselves about how to strengthen our marriage and I still pray for restoration in my marriage all the time! It may be good but it can always be better!
I am very excited about where our marriage could go one day....the couple that prays together...stays together!

Besides my own parents divorce my marriage falling apart was the hardest thing I have ever gone through but I would do it all over again to get to have the marriage I have now.

Do I still have weak moments? Of course! Do we drive each other crazy at times? YES....well I don't know what I could do to drive him crazy though!! LOL!

I like this Marriage Monday thing....I already have ideas for next week! Please come back and spread the word!


e-Mom said...

So beautiful! I thoroughly enjoyed your post... and especially how God has restored your marriage. You said it though: marriage is a lot of hard work. It takes an openness to His Word, as you were for the two of you during your most critical period.

This is so key: "...we have had our share of problems in our marriage and even contemplated the "D" word at one point. I have learned is that is a word that should not even exist in your marriage vocabulary! Never say it, never think it and definitely never do it!

Amen sister!!! I'm delighted to meet you.
As a group, we meet on the first Monday of each month. (We might go to every other week this spring.)

You have a beautiful family.

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday, Lesley.


e-Mom @ Chrysalis ღ

Denise said...

So precious.

Mrs White said...

Thanks for sharing

Mrs White

Morissa Momo Foster said...

I'm so glad I read this. Thank you for sharing! <3

lynsperation said...

Wow! Y'all amaze me!!! I would have never guessed that about y'all! I'm learning how truly amazing God is and how His timing is ALWAYS perfect! Crazy how things work out! If y'all had never moved I probably never would have met y'all and all your precious babies! God ALWAYS turns things the enemy means for harm and turns them for good. What a testimony y'all have and many marriages y'all are saving through your story! I love your whole family!!! -Lyndsey