Oct 28, 2015

My Results So Far.....

As most of you know I have been working out steadily for 10 months now and as of this morning have almost lost 50 lbs.  Almost!  (2 lbs to go....)

Never in a million years did I think I would be here today in this body!  I feel better than I have in a really long time....I mean REALLY long!  I can't remember the last time I had this much confidence in myself and in my capabilities.  I have learned that I can do so much more than I ever thought possible.  I have learned that age is really only a number if you take care of yourself and exercise and eat right.  To think that I had gone to my ob/gyn to ask him about weight loss surgeries only to hear him give me a lecture on doing it the hard way and not taking the risk that comes along with surgeries.  I left that day as low as one can get and weighing in at 230 lbs!  Yes, you read that right!  I almost passed out when I saw that number and realized what I had done to myself.

I had already joined the gym and had been going for a month.  Those were some hard weeks but after hearing what all my doc said I knew I couldn't give up!  My life depended on it.  I had to be the best I could be so I could be around a long time for my kids and not miss out on anymore of life!

Here is the good part.......this morning I weighed 182.....I am 5"9".  I now wear the same size that I did when I weighed 160-165 (8 years ago!) and was just thin and not working out.  My body has shaped up totally different from lifting weights and doing the cross training type workouts that I am doing.

The day I entered my gym my waist (across my belly button) measured 42 inches and this morning it measured 35!  That is 7 inches!!!

So there it is folks.....the number that I said  would go to my grave with and never tell...... but if it helps just one person know that you to can get up and get moving to feel and look better then I it was worth it!

So my new goal is to compete in the Battle on the Bay here in Corpus Christi on July 9th, 2016 in the bikini division for my age group and height!  I am excited to see the results of the hard work I will have to put in!

FACE to FACE...........no more chubby cheeks!

DECEMBER (230lbs)  to TODAY (182lbs)!  Time to start building that butt and rounding it out!!!

Sep 10, 2015

My Future......

I have thought a lot lately about my future and what it holds.  I know WHO holds it and I know what I want it to look like but we all know that we make plans and sometimes God just smiles and shakes his head at them but sometimes we are right on track.  He is planting those seeds and you create your future from those seeds!  He always gives us choices to make along the way........

If you read my blog at all or my Facebook then you know my fitness goals but this is different.....this is what I think God may have for me aside from health and fitness but that does play a huge part in my life and changing who I am.

First of all is my blog......

I feel like if I keep writing you guys will keep coming and I can only pray, and I do, that I am blessing at least one person that day with my writing!  There may only be 5 of you that read right now or forever but my prayer is that one of you read something that touches you  or encourages you!

I have thought about trying to get my blog "out there" so to speak and link up anywhere that will let me but I just don't feel drawn to do that.  I feel like if I am meant to have this as my platform then the readers will come.

I am not a fancy writer with big words and tons of Biblical knowledge but I do write from my heart and mean what I say.


About eight years ago my husband and I attended a marriage retreat called Weekend To Remember.  We went there on the verge of divorce and that weekend saved our marriage.  I remember listening to the married couple that were speakers that weekend and being in awe of their marriage and what all they had been through but yet here they were standing there teaching us through their trials and mistakes and were willing to share hurts and real feelings that some would want kept private.
I left there with a new marriage but I also left there wanting that.  I wanted to be them!  I pictured Marc and I standing on a stage teaching what we had learned through our 13 years of marriage.

Fast forward another 8 years......

It never happened.

I have over the years asked God why?  Why can't we be "that couple"?  And lately He has answered me.  One we weren't married long enough to REALLY get it enough to give advice to a crowd of married couples.  Second, we weren't ready because we had a lot more to learn!  And it would be the hard way on some things.  Third, we hadn't put Him first in our lives so why would He allow us to teach that?  Because really THAT is the answer to most marriage problems.  We had not learned the true meaning of forgiveness so how can we teach it?  I especially deal with lack of forgiveness so I have been studying what it really means and how to fully forgive!   We both deal with resentment so how can we teach that resentment is a marriage killer?  God is working on me/us in a mighty way......

21 year anniversary!
  My point to all of this is to say that God is not going to use me or us as a couple until He KNOWS we are ready.  I know that one day I will stand on a stage or write it here and tell my story!  It might be with my husband as a couple or I might be alone up there but I truly believe that it will happen.  I know that God is preparing me now.  It has been hard.  Very hard to come to terms with some things in my life and in my marriage but I do know that He holds my future and that He is equipping me for something big!
So stay tuned and for those of you that actually read I thank you!

Just thought I would throw this in for fun!  I pray this blog is around for a long time so they never forget their mom's heart and thoughts!

Sep 1, 2015

A Letter to the Man in Blue.....that lives in my home!

Dear Officer Estes,

First of all I want you to know that I love you.  I admire your want to serve the people of our county.  I am proud of you for all the hours you put in both in uniform and out of uniform!

Thank you for keeping not only us, your family safe, but the people of our community.  We are all blessed because of it.  I know that I can sleep better at night knowing that you are patrolling our streets.

I want you to know that I pray for you every day.  I pray for your safety and that God send his angels to protect you on each shift.  I pray that He keeps all evil people from you and shield you from any violence.  I pray that the Lord is your fortress, your strength and your shield!

I want you to know that I love how you always sit in a public place where you can see the door and you are always prepared to help if needed.

I want you to know that I am proud that you have served for over ten years without ever getting paid but yet have risked your life just like every other officer.

I want you to know that I am proud of the countless hours you have put in learning this profession even after the academy.   I am proud that you stay up to date on the latest training and procedures!

I want you to know that I love how you are patient with people even when they are breaking the law.  You are fair and you are kind.

I am proud that you give second chances.

I want you to know that I love how you teach any child you know about gun safety.

I want you to know that I love how 911 means so much to you and I know that if you could have I know you would have been there in a heart beat helping and saving lives.

I know through that tragedy God called you to sacrifice time and money so that you could go to school and become a peace officer.  I am proud that you worked hard and graduated top of your class receiving almost every award!

A lot of people may not understand your want to tattoo this on your body but we do and most of all God does!
THAT is all that matters!

I want you to know that me and the people of this county and beyond thank you for your dedication to serve and protect us and I pray that God always protects you and your fellow brothers in Blue!

The world needs more people like you Officer Estes!

Your proud wife and biggest prayer warrior,

Reality Check- Fitness Competition Update.....

Today I went into Corpus to meet with a guy that specializes in training girls and guys for competitions and boy was it an eye opener.

First of all his scale was SIX pounds heavier than what mine had read first thing this morning.  Of course he said HIS was the correct one!  (I am not believing that! LOL)

Second he said my body fat was 37%....OMG!  Of course I held a little video game controller thing that supposedly is able to read your body fat!  Not buying it but that number is probably pretty close which is terrible......even after loosing almost 40 lbs!
December on left
August on right

Third.....and here it is........I need to loose 50-70 more pounds to be ready for a competition!  I would be a stick!!!!!  I do not want to be a stick!

 My dream may have just been crushed........IF.......I didn't have my husband, trainers and gym family that tell me everyday I can anything I put my mind to!!  And I am putting my mind to this.........

I can hardly stand to look at my face before BUT it reminds me of how far
I have come and how hard I have worked and for that I am
so proud of myself!

So here I am putting it all out there right now!  Come July or maybe before if I get really focused and train REALLY hard I am going to show that guy up!  I WILL walk on to that stage and do my absolute best and be so proud of what I worked hard for up to that day and I probably won't be 70 lbs lighter than today maybe not even 50 but I will be the best me I can be.  I am not doing it to win anything.....that really never entered my mind.  I will win the day I step up there!

Actually the day I walked into Clydesman Gym is the day I took my life back and WON!

Aug 31, 2015

A Letter to Emily......when she is grown!

My Sweet Precious Girl.......

I prayed for you this morning like I do most mornings.  This morning was different.  I prayed for strength and a wholeness for you that can only come through Christ.  I prayed that you know without a doubt that not only are you our daughter but that you are a daughter of The King.  I pray that as your mother and a women myself I can instill this in you all of your days as my little girl living in my home.  I pray that I can equip you with the right tools to be a strong women in Christ! 

The world is going to tell you that you need an education, work experience, and that you are wrong if you want to just be a mom and wife.  Yes, an education is an amazing thing and I hope that you decide that you want to go to college and yes women can do and be anything they want in this world and that is a great thing.  I pray that God shows you over time the unique talents and gifts that He created you with.  I pray that I instill in you a confidence that is unbreakable.  I hope that you ignore what the world offers to you and you only look to Christ and what He offers you.  
I hope that I don't teach you to "breathe fire" like the world is saying to women of faith and stay at home mom's right now but I hope that I teach you to honor God for all that he made you to be....whatever that is!  

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom if that is what you choose.  I have been one my whole married life.  That is all I ever wanted to be.  Have I struggled with feelings of not measuring up to "the world" because of it?  Yes, but God reminds me every day that you and your brothers are my calling and "the world" doesn't make me who I am!  Christ did and still does! There is also nothing wrong with being a mother and wife that works out of the home!  Your Meme was and she is strong and independent and beautiful! 

There is no higher calling than to be a loving wife and mother! (taken from the words of your mamaw!)

I hope that either one you choose you will try your best to be a Proverbs 31 wife and mother.  

A woman who was a wife and mother; smart enough to consider a piece of real estate, buy it and plant a vineyard, she also made and sold fine fabrics. A woman who rose early to take care of household's needs. Her husband admired her. She was wise and kind, she gave to the poor. This is the kind of woman we should all strive to be, the kind of example for all daughters.
~again taken from Mamaw's words to me recently but straight from the Bible!

So my sweet girl.....I leave you with this......you were created by God, a miracle baby from conception, a gift to your Dad and I for hard work and restoration, you were created for a higher calling that one day will be revealed to you.  I hope that you accept it with confidence and with strength and know that no matter what the Lord is your rock.  He is your everything.  He offers grace everyday and so should you.  He died for our sins and we should be quick to offer forgiveness and mercy.  I have no doubt that you are going to be a wonderful mother and wife one day if that is the path He has chosen for you!   

I love you my angel,

Aug 26, 2015

The Sin No One Talks About.......


Gluttony- habitual greed or excess in eating.

Gluttony is generally defined as "excessive eating." In the Bible, the word glutton and its variants are often mentioned alongside drunkenness. Therefore, it is clear that a glutton is someone who eats more than is healthy or eats excessively and that such behavior is considered sinful. Furthermore, gluttony is presented as an ongoing practice, not typically as a one-time activity.

Wow....that is an eye opener for sure.  We talk about all of these other sins we do but we never hear this one mentioned.  But it's there in the Bible!  And a lot of us are doing it every day.   Ouch.  That can hurt to be told that.  It hurts me even now!  I am learning that food is really just to fuel your body.  I struggle with this daily......many times a day!  I have learned that eating clean makes me feel better and not eating all the yucky stuff I used to eat that always made me feel bogged down and gross.

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple. ~1 Corinthians 3:16-17

I am sure that scripture can be interpreted many different ways to each of us but here is my OPINION today!  I say today because I am in a different place than I was 6 months ago.  

I believe that we should love our bodies the way God intended.  Our body is a temple that He created.  If His spirit dwells inside you and you know that then why would we feed ourselves stuff that isn't healthy or good for us.  Why would we let ourselves get over weight and be miserable?  That isn't good for our heart, or any organ for that matter!  

I am here to tell you that everything changes when you feel better physically because then you feel better mentally.  It's so hard to do over night but you can start right now with one small change. Maybe that is cutting out that coke you drink everyday or that cake you have each day.  I am in no way saying that you can't ever have cake!  I have cake every now and then! I am telling you NO COKE!  LOL!  It's gross....it's like drinking metal or something!  I am also not saying that I have mastered all of this.....I haven't!  But I want it so bad!  

I want to please God with how I feed this body that He created for me.  If you think about how he made our bodies....especially a women's body it's truly a miracle.  We can grow a sweet precious baby in our body and feed that baby after giving birth.  THAT is what our bodies can do!  THAT is what HE created!  We owe it to him to take care of it the way I know He intended!

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  ~1 Corinthians 10:31

Taken from a website where I was ready about gluttony!

God has blessed us by filling the earth with foods that are delicious, nutritious, and pleasurable. We should honor God's creation by enjoying these foods and by eating them in appropriate quantities. God calls us to control our appetites, rather than allowing them to control us.

Check back tomorrow when I blog about all the ways this healthy life style has helped my marriage!  My mom and dad might not want to read!  KIDDING!!!!  Calm down!  

Aug 18, 2015

Fisher's of Men..........

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”  Matthew 4:19

I am embarrassed to say that I have never led anyone to the Lord. Not even my own children.  One was led by his grandmother, one was led by his dad and one by a sweet teacher!  What if I were to die tomorrow and have to look at Jesus in the face and say "no, I never led anyone to You."  Somehow sorry would just not be enough especially after all He has done for me in my life.   What if he asks me what I have done for His kingdom?  I don't know what I would say.  I have been nice.  I have been a giver.  I have been a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter, and friend.  Somehow that just doesn't seem like enough either!

My husband and I are doing a marriage study by Francis and Lisa Chan and something they said in chapter one hit me.......God is watching our every move!  EVERYTHING.....he knows every action we take, every thought we have, and hears every word we say.  I hope the day the Lord returns I am doing something great for His kingdom.  I hope it is pleasing to him!  I hope that by then I have led many people to Him.   

The good thing is that His mercies are new every day.  He paid for our sins long ago on the cross.  Have you ever thought about that day?  Picture those nails being driven through his hands and the pain and suffering he went through for US!  For me and for you!  (I am serious....stop right now and really think about it......it's chilling to say the least!)

I was listening to Francis Chan preach on "The Biggest Lie in Your Life" and he said if someone were to interview your friends what would they say about you?  I would assume that my friends would say pretty good things about me.  BUT....what if someone was to interview GOD about me?  What would He say?  I am afraid he would say she was a hypocrite.  WOW!  Think about that for a minute.  It's the truth.  We are all one to some degree......at least those of us who choose to give advice, share our experiences, blog.....etc!  I know that I am.   As people we are far more concerned about our reputation or what people think about us than we are our character and what Christ thinks of us!  (ugh!  those are francis's words and that hurt!)

Lots of things I have written here on this blog were for you and not something I was following or doing myself.  I am embarrassed to admit that but it's true.

I am sorry for that.  Very sorry.  I mean that with every ounce of my being.  All I can say is that I meant well and at the times even believed what I was writing. 

If I am ever going to be a fisher of men then that needs to change.  I need to change.  Every minute of my life needs to change.  My thoughts need to change.  My actions need to change.  My mouth, my life, my everything.  And my words on here need to change.  They need to be true and real and honest!

This morning I had to go back and revisit my blog post A Broken Heart and listen to my preachers sermon again on healing from a broken heart.  Some of what I wrote I had to take my own advice.  It was hard to know that I was the author of those words just a few months back.  
One day I will share with you guys about my recent broken heart.  I am just not ready right now.  He is still growing me and giving me wisdom and strength to say it the right way.  

I want to be able to one day write or speak about it with total honesty and total healing!  The above scripture scares me but it is true.  I know that once I start to REALLY follow God's calling on my life people are not going to understand.  I actually have already started in many ways.....I just haven't talked about it yet!  I will probably loose followers and maybe even friends but that is ok.....I want this blog to be about Him and my personal walk and not about how many are reading and how many followers I have!  

I pray that the day I lead that first person to the Lord that the Lord and that person know that I come with a pure heart for Him.....to share His good news and what He can do for your life.  What He has already done for you and for me!  But most of all I want the Lord to know I did it with a pure heart.....a heart of honesty and forgiveness!

Today I will go visit with a pastor at my church, who my husband and I have gotten really close to and who has touched our lives in a huge way and he will pray with me and continue to give me guidance and I hope to come back to my next blog post ready to become that fisher of men and I pray that you guys can read with complete confidence that I am who I say I am and I practice what I preach!  

I love each of you and pray for anyone that takes the time to read what I have on my heart at that time!  I mean that!  

God Bless!!!!

I love this picture of hubby's arm!  The old rugged cross and home.  Doesn't get any better than that!