Nov 20, 2014

Seven Years Ago......

Seven years ago on a Thursday night like tonight I was packing my stuff about to head the next day to a marriage conference with my husband, who at the time, felt a million miles away from me and our boys.  (We only had Noah, Taylor and Jesse then.)

Just the Sunday before I was told he wanted a divorce.  I was devastated.  Scared.  Physically sick but determined that God would restore my marriage.  I wasn't sure how or when but I knew in His eyes I was Marc's wife and always would be.
My mother in law reminded me each day to pray for my marriage but to also start thanking God for what He is going to do through us.  Praise Him now she would say.  That was tough but I did it.  I prayed for my husband like never before!

We had already been on the waiting list to get into this conference called Weekend To Remember and Monday of that week they called me and said an opening had come up so I bought the tickets knowing that there was a 99% chance that he would not go with me.

To make a really long story short my mother in law told my hubby that she would never ask him for anything else if he just went with me to this retreat.  He didn't want to but he agreed.  She told him if he still felt like he wanted a divorce she wouldn't like it or condone it but she would accept it.

So Friday rolled around and we went.  We drove to Austin pretty much in silence.  I cried a LOT.  It was a weird 4 hours.
We attended the Friday night session and I can't even explain how God spoke to both of us.  The rest of the weekend was amazing!  By Sunday when we left we we were well on our way to reconciliation and over the last 7 years God has restored and used our marriage to glorify him!

We have had the opportunity to help a few other couples that were struggling with the things we did and we have been able to share what we learned.  

We have grown into a more mature marriage then we had at 19 and 21....the day we said I Do.  We have beaten all odds and statistics say we should have been divorced a long time ago.

I am proud of what we have today.  I know that God gave us Emily as a gift for the hard work and choices we made seven years ago.  She is our miracle baby!  I think about how God changed Marc and gave his a heart for missions and how that led us to Vensly and our COMPLETED family!!!

I write all of this to say that tonight I am packing for that same conference but this time as a happily married wife that is excited to learn new things and to spend time investing in more into my marriage so that we can continue to be stronger and continue to give Him all the glory!   I am so excited that my brother and his wife are coming with us.  They have only been married about 7 years so I am praying that they can take a lot away from this retreat so they only continue to grow together!

God is good.  All the time.  And he's in the business of saving marriages.  We are proof.

Nov 18, 2014

God's Will and mine............

I have to laugh at myself sometimes as I have my kid's lives all planned out in my head.  I mean it's a good life for them and everything will be perfect! one of mine gets older and is growing into a man I am learning that my will and God's will for him just may not be the same and that is a hard one to accept sometimes.  Of course we all know that His will is ALWAYS so much better but we aren't always good at waiting......and the growing part......well that is the hardest!

As a mom I am so guilty of not wanting my kids to suffer or be uncomfortable or have any kind of trials and tribulations but again I know that is what grows us!  That is when our faith in Him grows too!

I pray for all of my children but since Taylor graduated in May and is now off at college starting his "adult" life I seem to focus more on him and the details of his life.  Of course if it were up to me he would get his degree from TAMU and maybe be something like a Veterinary or an Engineer, would make life long college friends and would meet the most precious little Christian girl that is pure and innocent and loves God.  She would adore my son and together they would build a life and one day a family!  Of course they would move out here to the country with us and we would see them all the time and we would be one big happy family!  :)  We always called him our little preacher when he was little.  NOW THAT would make me happy!!!!

I know he is mine and all moms say this about their children but seriously Taylor is the smartest boy I know.  He gives his dad a run for him money!  He can explain just about anything to you and knows the Bible very well!  A computer is an easy fix for him and he is interested in things that most could care less about.  I think he's amazing, smart and hilarious!
He's shy at times and he doesn't always let everyone see the side of him that we do but I know that God is working on him and one day everyone will see what I do.

So we have established that I have his life all mapped out for him so what do you do when your child calls you one day and says that college isn't for him?  What do you do when he wants a different path than the one that I think he needs or the one that we thought he was on?  Well, if you are me your freak out at first!!!!!  If you are his dad you stay calm and ask gently "well son what is it you want to do?"  That led to many talks, praying about the situation and listening to Taylor's thoughts and wants and a decision was made.
Our boy will be coming home after this semester.   Let me say to those wondering.....this has nothing to do with grades or not being able to handle the classes.  He is a smart boy and academics have nothing to do with it!  It has everything to do with that this is not God's will for him right now.  College Station is not for him.  He's not exactly sure what is for him right now but with God's help and direction we are going to try to figure that out.

I have been given two scriptures while praying for him in the last week........

The first one is......Proverbs 3:6

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 

This morning it was this one........John 14:27

 I give you peace, the kind of peace that only I can give. It isn’t like the peace that this world can give. So don’t be worried or afraid.

I love the second one because when you are 18 and supposed to just know what you want and in the college world you are forced to make a decision NOW you can worry and be afraid.  We are choosing to slow down, pray and wait for His will to be done.  Not ours.

Until then my family will be back under one roof and that makes this momma very happy!  

Nov 17, 2014

A Different Anniversary Celebration.............

Marc and I celebrated 20 years of marriage in August and for as long as I can remember we have always talked about taking "the trip of a lifetime" for our 20 year anniversary.  Well that month came and went and we never did go and honestly neither of us felt led to go anywhere!  We ended up just spending the night about an hour from our house and went to dinner.  We sattand talked for a while about what all we have accomplished in 20 years and how our lives and wants have changed so much over the years.  One thing has remained the same......we love each other and we love to give, serve and do for others.   I wish I would have came across this video back in August or we might just would have taken a different "trip of a lifetime".

The older we get and the longer we live in the country the more we are certain that God does not intend for us to spend our money on things like fancy trips, fancy houses and other pointless things that we don't need.  Do we have a nice house?  Yes we do but it's has lots of character but it is a work in progress!  And it's in the middle of no where!  We have truly simplified our lives.  Our goal is to one day almost totally live off of our land.  Food wise!  We also want to share our veggies, fruits and other food we raise here with the people of our small community!  That is our wish!

An average trip to Fiji (and I only name that because it is talked about in the video as a choice.....we have never been) costs about $10,000 for a week.  I know someone that spent $20K on a trip to Tahiti.  Do you know what that kind of money can do?  Did you know that you can adopt a child from Haiti for $10K?  How many mouths can that feed?  A LOT!  I can list about a hundred or more things that you can do with that kind of money but you get the point!

What better way to spend your anniversary then serving people that have nothing?  What better way to show people that marriage is still alive and can last for 20 years and even longer?  What a way to give people hope!  It made me think of the women they showed and he talked about in the video.
I would rather come home with the thought that I influenced a young lady to know that marriage can be a God given gift and love is real rather than a bunch of pictures and bragging rights for Facebook any day!

I think I will start planning that 21st anniversary trip of a lifetime now but it sure will look different than we dreamed about 20 years ago!

Nov 4, 2014

My Gift......

My husband has always been a really good gift giver as far as material things.  I can usually just mention something I want (within reason of course) and more than likely he soon shows up with it.  He's always been good that way and while I love him for that GIFTS is just not my love language.  Or at least not my first language.  Every girl loves getting gifts.

I have always thought mine was quality time and it still is but I also LOVE words of affirmation!  I didn't really realize how much I love sweet words from him until I haven't heard them in a while.  I mean he tells me he loves me all the time but the days of him telling me something bigger than that or different than that are few so when he does I am giddy the rest of the week or longer!  :)

SO.....this morning he left for work and I took the kids to school and about an hour after getting home I thought I should check my phone just in case someone was trying to get me and here is what I find in a text from my hubby........

Here is the song........

I hope I am always his angel!!!!!  I am a blessed girl!!!

Oct 26, 2014

I Now Pronounce you an ADD couple........

That was the name of an article I read today and it really got my mind to thinking!  That was me and my hubby 20 years ago at the young age of 19 and 21 and I didn't even know it then!  Really he didn't either.  Of course we were young, dumb, and in love!

MY marriage was going to be a fairytale and MY husband was going to do everything right and make all my dreams come true!  He was only going to concentrate of me and making me happy!  ME ME ME!!!!

So we come home from the honeymoon and probably that day ADD reared it's ugly head!   How in the world could he forget my birthday the first year of being married and leave me waiting at the restaurant for him for an hour only to never show because he got caught up fishing and forgot?  How could he not remember where his keys are every single day?  How can he look right at me and not hear me?  How could he have sent me a picture of his speedometer going 100 on a motorcycle? How could he be talking to our company one minute and sweeping the roof the next?
How was it that we were newlyweds but sometimes I felt alone in our house?
But how is it that he can remember every license plate number his parents ever had?  Weird.  He graduated number one in his police academy class!  He grew a small company to a multi million dollar company in a matter of years!  He forgot to get me a mother's day card???  What?  How are you going to remodel the bedroom when you haven't finished the garage?  The list goes on and on......the good and the frustrating!

Little did I know that God was teaching me how to live with my new husband that clearly has ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER!    I didn't know that at the time and to be honest it took me about 13 years to learn and not take everything so personal!
It took me a long time to learn how to live with him, how to get his attention without getting angry and many other things.  Anyone that knows our story knows that we were right on the brink of divorce at one time.  Looking back his ADD had a big role in those issues.  On his part and mine!  I am so thankful that God intervened and we won that fight!

They say most ADD sufferers are brilliant, creative, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, writers, etc........

That is so true!  My husband is for sure brilliant, he has an entrepreneur spirit and had his own business by the time we were married 5 years, he can play drums and guitar by ear, can sing like a country music star, and is a risk taker that usually always pays off!  We took a risk by moving here and it was the best decision we have ever made for us and our future!

It's funny how over time my anger and resentment turned to compassion and understanding!  (Sometimes I fail at that....)  It took lots of prayer....still does!  Lots of patience....still isn't always easy and I still get upset at times but I try to understand he can't help it!

I wouldn't change him for anything!  ADD is only a small part of who he is.  He believes in everything I want to do.  He is my biggest fan when I want to do something!  He loves God with all he is and is a great leader in our home!  He has great intentions all the time.

Marc has chosen to not take medication and deal with it on his own.  That hasn't always been easy but we have learned.  He has learned things he needs to do and not do.

ADD is hereditary and so here I am with a complete clone of my son!  I pray that God is preparing his wife in that department too!  I feel for her but I know that God knows who she is and she to will learn!  She will have a good teacher....Me!

This was the article that got me to thinking about all of this.

Oct 14, 2014

How Our Lives Have Changed..........

Wow!  First let me say that God's plan is always so much better then our plans we make for ourselves!  If you would have told me 5-10 years ago that I would live on a farm way down in South Texas (or farm in the making right now!) I would have cracked up laughing!  Even though we have always said that we would love to live on land and anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE farmhouses!

I find myself everyday loving this life more and more.  It's a very simple life! (Not at all saying I have a perfect life.....just one that God seemed to slow down and simplify!)  There are no stores in my town....only the school, the post office, the Sheriff's office, the courthouse and a few other things.  It's all in a little tiny square!  It's very quiet and the people here are very nice!  Our town is surrounded by ranches.

I was thinking of little things that I used to never let go like pedicures, my eyebrows and my nails!!!  I haven't had a pedicure in a while.  I bought the stuff that they use and I do it myself in the shower most nights.  My eyebrows are getting a little unruly!  :)  My nails just get messed up from working outside and around this house!

We have always wanted a garden and now we have one!  It's huge!!!!  It is still in the very beginning stages but the rows are growing slowly but surely.  Marc and Mr. Jim prayed over it after finally getting it all like it is supposed to be!
The other day I smiled after Jesse said he had garden chores he needed to get done!  I don't know why that made me happy but it did!  He worked hard to help his dad pull weeds and plant new things!
My prayer is that our garden over flows with veggies that we can share with our little community!

The schools!  My little ones go to a VERY small public school.  I can't even put into words how I feel about that school and the teachers/principle that God brought into my kid's lives!  As Jesse's science teacher said "I don't know how you guys found Sarita but I am sure glad you did!"  I thought that was so sweet and I totally agree with her!

Noah goes to school about 20 minutes from here and he loves it.  He has just fit right in and made so many friends!  I am in awe of what God did for our kids.
Even Taylor has said he misses Sarita!
Noah has a bus that picks him up about five minutes up the road and Marc takes him to his stop on his way to work.  The littles go at 7:30 and we literally live 1 minute from the school.  They CHOSE to go to an after school program that they LOVE so sometimes I don't get them until 5:30!  They aren't real happy if I show up early!

COOKING!  I literally cook every night.  Even the weekends.  We had Burger King yesterday for lunch because the kids got out early but they have not had fast food in a long time!  People this is big for me!  I am proud of myself too!

We are all home and around the dinner table eating dinner by 6:30 at the latest each night!  Only thing missing is Taylor!

Date night-  This has really changed!  We don't have a babysitter so we have slowly allowed Noah to babysit for us so we never go further than 10-15 minutes from the house.  We go to an old restaurant called Kings Inn that is famous with South Texas hunters and fisherman!  We go look at Baffin Bay and have even planned our next date night which we will go fishing!  :)  No more fancy restaurants or unlimited choices.  I love it!  As long as we are together it doesn't matter where or what we do!

We went back home to Baytown this past weekend and while I loved seeing everyone and I miss my friends we couldn't wait to get HOME!  I don't miss that traffic.....I was a nervous wreck on 59!  I love our country roads and no traffic!

We got our tractor yesterday and so this weekend will begin the clean up of the acreage so that we can finally get chickens and eventually horses for the kids!  We are looking now for somewhere for them to start taking riding lessons.  Jesse says he wants to be a bull rider!  OMG!  He said he would settle for bull dogging though!  :)

I love this new life God decided to give us and wouldn't change a thing!  We are blessed!

Sep 18, 2014

Some of my favorite moments.......

There are some things I wanted to write down so I can look back one day and remember how I felt at this time.........

1.  When my baby is girl is all bathed, hair washed and lathered up in Baby Magic and she sleeps between me and her daddy!  I love to cuddle up to her,  kiss on her cheeks and pray over her!  I secretly wish she would stay this age forever!

2.  When Vensly asks me a question and immediately follows it with "huh?  tell me???"  I don't know why that makes me laugh.  I also don't want to forget his Haitian accent that he still has.  Some things that he says in that accent make me laugh so hard!  He's has such a dry sense of humor!  He is obsessed with Lloyd from Legos and the way he said "Lloyd" can't help but make you smile.  I don't want to forget how he tells me he loves me about 20 times a day!

3.  Taylor-  because he is off at college I suddenly realized how much I miss the sound of his voice and how he always starts off our conversation with "hey momma".   Sometimes I lay in bed at night and can here him say that to me!  I hope he always calls me momma!  I love to hear how he misses his little guest house here in Sarita and how Sarita Farms is his HOME!  It goes to show you that home is where your family is not just a structure!

4.  Jesse-  I love how he's ALL BOY!  He loves trucks, trailers, transformers, ninjas, four wheelers, the bad boy mower, dirt and all things boy!  I love how outgoing he is at his new school!  Sometimes a little to much so.  I love how he loves me!  He is a momma's boy and he thinks I am the most beautiful girl and tells me all the time.  He will also say my butt is a little big as he pops me on my booty!!!!  LOL

5.  Noah- He is HILARIOUS!  He can make his dad and I laugh so hard.  His latest is his Obama impersonation.  I am telling you.....he's good!!!!!!  I love how sensitive he is and how kind his heart is.  He's my helper!  I love how he loves the Lord at such a young age and isn't afraid to show it or say it.  I pray that never changes!!!

6.  When I drive into my new driveway and see the trees and the dirt road and my sweet dogs!  I thank God for sending us here.  If someone can't sit on my front porch and hear the birds, watch the deer, and see all the beautiful trees and not believe in God, then I am not sure what could convince them!  I never want to forget the excitement of being home!

7.  Mine and hubby's talks on the front porch early in the morning or late at night!  Nothing better!

8.  When we dream of what Sarita Farms will be one day!  It could be amazing!

9.  Family dinners around our little bitty table when we have a big table that we would all fit but we cram around it and have the best talks!

10.  Knowing Taylor is home safe and sound even if it's for a couple of days!