Mar 19, 2015

Mothers Need to Stick Together!

I was thinking about how is it that mother's started bashing each other and not sticking together.  When is it that we quit trying to learn from each other?  When did we stop taking God's word to heart?  I mean really to heart.  Like refraining from judgement!

I read something one day and wrote it down to read it is.

Let's aspire to use our mouths with Godly purpose.

To build......not to break.
To bless......not to badger.
To encourage.....not to embitter.
To praise.....not to pounce. ~Karen Ehman

That is such great advice that I think we can all use!  As mom's we should be building each other up and trying to find the good in each other.  We all have strength and weaknesses that we can learn from each other.  
You never know what that mom might be going through.

I was in a restaurant here in my new little town about 6 months ago and a young lady came in with her, I think, 4 kids.  Maybe three.  I can't exactly remember but I know that my little ones knew one of the boys from school. He is a doll.  He' friendly, outgoing, all boy!!!  The mom smiled and went on to their table.  She looked tired.  She looked like she had come from work.  They were a wild bunch much like my own table can be and was being at the time and she looked stressed.  She snapped at one of the kids very loudly where the restaurant quietened and suddenly there was an awkward silence but thankfully it didn't last long and people went on about their business.  

My first instinct was to judge her in my mind!  I wanted to say "seriously?  Did you have to yell at him like that?  Aren't you embarrassed for yourself?"  THEN.....suddenly I looked at her and God convicted me!  I felt sorry for her.  I realized that I bet she was a single mom that had probably worked all day and was feeding her kids after a long day.  I felt compassion for her and I knew I was supposed to stop right there and pray for her.  And I did!  

I wish I would have been brave enough to actually go and pray with her but I wasn't!  It doesn't matter though because I know God hears any prayer!  
I prayed that God would instantly calm her nerves and I prayed that blessings be poured on her as God sees fit.  I prayed that whatever she was going through that he give her strength and courage and that she be kept safe and healthy.  I prayed for her kids too!

I have since seen her kids many times and they are HAPPY little things so instead of remembering her one little outburst, and believe me we as mothers have all had them, I choose to praise her because she may not be doing it all right but she didn't something right for them to be so happy!  

So I leave you with this.........

Part of my New Year's prayer this year was to have eyes that always see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God!  To do all of that I also need to reevaluate myself and what I think and say!  We need to remember that you can learn something good from just about anyone you meet in life especially mothers whether they are seasoned ones or a brand new one!  Whether they are single mothers or married ones.  Whether they are working mom's or stay at home mom's!  We all do the best we can!  
God loves each one of us!

Mar 18, 2015

Practice what I Preach???

Wow.  Sometimes it's hard to practice what you preach!  My last blog entry was on heart break and how to get over one with God's help!

The day I wrote that I never would have thought that I would, that week, have a broken heart myself again!

It is the worst feeling.  My first instinct was to lash out and hurt in return but I feel God has been telling me to be still and be quiet.  So I am.  Is it easy?  No.  I have my weak moments every day.  I have cried many tears the last two weeks as I permanently close that chapter of my life.

My mother in law quoted this scripture to me when I told her about my heart was perfect!

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.  Luke 8:17

To me that scripture means that the truth will come out and anything that was lied about or talked about will be covered again with the truth!  I am claiming that.

My character means a lot to me and when it's questioned or twisted into something I know I am not it's hurtful especially when it was from someone that you love and thought loved you too.

I am a mother.  I have been one for 19 years and that is all I have ever wanted to be.  When I was little and someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up that is what I said.......a mother!

I am a good mother.  Am I a perfect one?  Gosh no but I try my hardest to do a good job.....the best I know how.  I pray for my kids almost everyday!  All of them.

I have been a really young mother and I am now an older more mature mother.  I do things differently then I did with Taylor, who is almost 19 but you know what?  Even at the ripe age of 22 and 20 we did a good job.  He's a good boy.  NEVER been in any trouble and pretty much tells us everything.....the good and the bad!  We laugh sometimes and say "Good Lord son.....I wish you would not have told me that!!!!"   (insert face with fingers in ears so I can't hear what he's saying!)  Marc has said many times "Well I sure wouldn't have told my mom that at your age!"  LOL
He isn't perfect and neither are his siblings but they are all created by God and loved by Him!

My point to all of this can mess with me all you want.  I know that I can't make everyone happy and I don't always say and do the right things even though I seriously try to be the best friend, daughter, mom, and wife that I know how to be.  BUT.......don't mess with my kid!  ANY OF THEM!

People need to learn that words are so harmful.  Some people are strong and can let things roll off their back but some people let words stick with them for a long time.......sometimes forever.  I am one of those people and so is one of my kids.  I am working on helping myself and that child in this area.

I am trying to learn that our REAL friends know us and love us and I pray that people that don't really know us see Jesus in us and can make their own judgement.

Gossip is hurtful.  It's wrong and it's so damaging.  Have I been guilty of it?  Of course.  We all have but a couple of weeks ago I was so hurt from pure gossip that I vowed to never do it again!
If they gossip with you.....they will gossip about you!  THAT I know is true!!!!

Something you "heard" is not fact.
Something someone says about someone and you are listening.....guess what?  You are gossiping too!  Something you hear and turn around and retell and add your own "facts" is gossip!
Gossip is a sin!  Go read about it in the Bible.  It's scary!  But so good at the same time.

I will end with saying that aside from a handful of very special people and a little of our family the chapter of my life back "home" is closed.  I realized that when I went home a couple of weeks ago.  I have great memories and some really good friends that I will love and cherish forever but Sarita is now my home.

And a's should stick together.  Not judge each other and each others children!  It doesn't matter who's kid is smarter, who's kid is in more sports, who has more money, or better cars, bigger house, what college they go to or will go to, or whatever.......we are all the same and all created by the same God!

Sorry to rant.......from now on I will certainly TRY to always practice what I preach!

Mar 2, 2015

A Broken Heart!

Have you ever had a broken heart?  I know I have.  Lots of times.  I have had a broken heart over small things that seemed huge to me at the time and some really big things that can still seem big to me to this day!

Our preacher preached on this yesterday and I will share the video at the bottom for anyone that might want to hear his sermon.  It could possibly be the best sermon I have heard to this day.  I know that it hit home for me and I cried a LOT!  And laughed some because he can be so funny too!  What was amazing was he actually stopped during his sermon because he felt the Holy Spirit so much that he took a second to honor and thank him for his Word!  I felt that too.  I knew that this was MY sermon.  One that I needed to hear!

Do you know what breaks a heart?  Unmet expectations.

I was thinking of my life and realized that I have/had a LOT of unmet expectations in my life.  From the time I was a little girl I put expectations on people.  My mom and dad were first!  I expected them to be married and us be a family forever.  They could not meet that expectation.  That was my first heart break.  It was horrible!  I took it really bad.  I STILL have issues to this day because of their divorce and in turn I have always put expectations on my husband that he can never possibly meet and so he has broken my heart at times also.

The feeling of a heart break can be physically painful.  My stomach hurts, my chest can hurt, I don't eat or sleep!  It's bad.  I mentally replay things over and over and most of all you feel lonely!
But you aren't alone.  God is there.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  He is there.

But as Pastor Bil said yesterday......God is closer than you think.  He is always there.  He already knows your pain.  He knew it before you did and took it all to the cross with him!

I can remember my worst heart break....even more so than my parents divorce.  The day my husband left me and our kids.  I felt so alone.  I felt like God didn't even love me.  I felt like he abandoned me.  My heart was literally broken in two.  It physically hurt to breathe.  I was embarrassed, ashamed and broken. took about a day for me to realize that He had not abandoned me and that I was not alone.  He was there all along and He was working in me and in my husband.  This was a trial and even with a broken heart I was going to survive and be better for it.

Pastor Bil said that if you get quiet enough in your crying you can actually hear God crying with you and that hit me.  He is right!  I know God has cried with me many times then tells me to GET UP, SHOW UP and PUT UP A FIGHT!

I did that.  I fought through my broken heart and fought for my marriage and for my husband when he didn't want to.  I knew I needed to pray for this man that left me!  That didn't want me anymore.  That was breaking our family up!  BUT I DID IT!  It wasn't easy and sometimes I didn't even know what to say.    BUT I WON!   I truly believe that God blessed me for it.

Again as Bil said...."he breathed a breath of fresh air on my life and my marriage!"  

Are we perfect?  Gosh no!!!  We have to work at it.  EVERY DAY!  I have to go to God every single day for my marriage but I am so thankful for that broken heart at that time for I wouldn't have the husband and the marriage I have now.

He wants to be there for all of us and heal our broken hearts but we have to go to him and sometimes, like with me, a broken heart can grow you into a better man or better women!

I feel like maybe the Lord breaks our hearts to make our heart right with Him.

Here is his sermon for any that would like to watch...........

Feb 26, 2015

What a Typical Workout Is for Me!

Today’s work out!

Row for 10 minutes to warm up

Bench Press and Push ups

(Right now for more than just a few reps I can only bench press the bar which is about 45 lbs....sometimes he will add tens but I can't do to many of those!) I have horrible upper body strength.  I still have to do push ups on my knees but they are getting better!

(1 BP then 10 push ups, 2 BP then 9 push ups, 3 BP then 8 push ups…..all the way down to 10 BP and 1 push up)

Then I have 8 minutes to do…. (I completed one and a half rounds)

200 meter row

6 steps overs on the box

10 hanging knee ups (hanging from the bar and bringing your knees up)

15 shoulder press  (again I use the 45 lb bar)

20 kettle bell swings

30 jump ropes singles

Repeat that but only had 7 minutes to do it and again completed one a half rounds but shaved a minute off my time!


Today I burned about 500 calories and my heart rate got up to about 175 during that time.  I mostly stay at 160 which is good.  It got to 185 one time which isn't to good......or could be bad!  

I am in my second week of 5 day a week training and I still love it!  I can't wait to see my results a year from now.  I am already seeing myself getting stronger and things are getting somewhat easier for me.  SOME THINGS!  Not all!!!  

My body is changing and I am still working on getting the nutrition part right but that will come I know.  I am educating myself and reading everything I can on nutrition and how your metabolism and body works.  

I am thankful for my trainer and friends I have made at my gym that push me to do my best which is always more than I think I can!

I DEAD LIFTED 195#'s last night!  That is HUGE for me!!!!  I was proud!  

I could go on and on about what my gym has done for me but I will stop now!  That is another day!  Have a great day's beautiful here at Sarita Farms!  Do something active!!!!!

Feb 16, 2015

The Day I Temporarily LOST My Mind.........

I texted my hubby one day told him that I wanted another baby!  YES, I know!  I lost my mind that day........actually it lasted for a couple of weeks!  My kids had ALL gone to school for the first time, I was in a new house, in a new city, and felt bored!  I mean I had LOTS to do with the house and all but just felt like I needed something to take care of!  A baby!!!!!  I mean that is what I have done daily for 18 years and now it seemed over.   Hubby not only said no but HELL NO!  LOL!  Then probably wondered if he needed to have me admitted!!!

I actually felt somewhat depressed and my anxiety was through the roof for a few months.  I would get up, take them all to school, come home, clean, watch Heartland (I was obsessed for a while), cook supper, pick up kids, bath time, homework, then go to bed!  Wake up next day and REPEAT!

During that time I gained about 15lbs too!  Not good.  Doesn't make you feel any better......only worse!

During this time any time I went to Kingsville, a town 20 minutes from where we live now,  I would drive by a certain gym and watch them workout!  It looked SO HARD!  And it is!  Finally after texting with the owner for a few weeks I finally got the nerve to go in!

That day, as I read someone else say about the gym I go to, was a game changer for me!  It really was!  I have never worked out this hard in my life.  I have never been so excited about what's to come with myself, my health and my body in a really long time!
My trainer is great!  He's tough but encouraging.  He has faith in me when I don't and he pushes me to do my best which is always more than I think I can!

If I could bottle up and sell that feeling you get after a really good workout I would be a rich lady!

Today I had to bring my three youngest ones with me and I was watching them play and thought to myself that I hope they never struggle with their weight like I do and I am going to make sure that they don't!  I want fitness, health and working out to be a part of their lives from this day forward!  They will be happier and healthier for it!

During these eight weeks I have not had an anxiety attack and have felt happier than I have in a really long time!  I look forward to each morning so that I am the best mom I can be to my FIVE kids that I have!!!!!
I am blessed!  They are all my biggest fans!!!

Me dead lifting 165#
On average I burn anywhere from 500-800 calories per workout!

Feb 10, 2015

Update to my Fitness Training.........

I am going into my 8th week of working out and after a rough start I am happy to say I am down 4lbs and getting stronger!  One more pound to reach my 5 lb goal for each month!  I didn't do it in January but I am confident that I can loose another pound in February!
It's not easy and lifting weights makes it slower as you are building muscle too.  I keep having to remind myself of that and try not to weigh to often!  Some even say throw the scale away!  One day!!!!!

I go Monday, Wednesday, Friday and try to get at least one class in there too.  Last week was the first time I worked out five days in a row.  Three one on ones with my trainer and two classes!

I love it.  It's is becoming an addiction.  I can't wait to be able to do simple things push ups and burpees!  I am NOT good at burpees!

Some of you know that I have horrible anxiety at times and I feel like I haven't had any in the last few weeks so I know that working out and better foods have really helped that.

My energy level is much better.  My want to eat right is better than ever!  (did that make sense?)

I spend any free time I have researching eating clean and nutrition and I love reading about real people that have made this transformation and even fitness experts and what they have to say!  I can't get enough of it lately!

I am so excited for myself and for what is to come!

Next week starts FIVE days one on one training!  Pray for me!!!  :)

PS....when I loose ten pounds I will post a side by side picture of day one and that day!

Feb 3, 2015

Winning the War in our Heads!

Let me start by saying that this is not easy to talk about.......I have never really shared this part of me with anyone but my husband.  (Poor guy)  I was thinking that there has got to be more than just me that feels this way so I should share!  So here goes.......

That has been the title of the sermon each week at church!  So far he has touched on giving up, temptation and this week was the Lord tests us and Satan tempts us!  He gave us tips on winning the war in your head and all of those tips are really found in one amazing book!  The Bible!

Sometimes my head is my biggest battle!  I have battled a war in my head pretty much my whole life.  I can know something to be true and good but my head can tell me something else.  I have always battled the devil whispering to me that I am not good enough at anything or deserving at's gotten worse the older I have gotten!

I am not good enough.
I am not loved by my husband.
I am not skinny and may never be.
I am not pretty.
I am not a good mother.
I am not a good daughter/daughter in law.
I am not a good wife.
I am not a good friend.
I am not smart.
I am clumsy.
I am not a good Christian.
I can't do this.
I can't do that.
I worry about what others think of me.
I worry about my kids....their future, their choices, the failures, you name it.
I worry about almost everything.
I have anxiety.  I am good at hiding it sometimes but it's always there! This to has gotten really bad the last five years or so.

And probably a lot more things I can't think of right now...........

You name it and I have thought it about myself and you tell me about something I will worry the socks off of it.  BUT..... and this will sound weird......I have always been a confident person to others.....or at least appear that way.  I only battle myself and my own mind.

I am the least confident when it comes to my husband.  I don't know why.  He's a wonderful husband that has never done anything to make me feel that way but I guess coming from a divorced family the devil knows how to play with my thoughts and my mind!  I am always waiting for him to leave.  I know that I drive him crazy sometimes with my thoughts and worries but he always seems to have the right words or scripture to calm my worry at that time.

SO....I tell you all of this to also tell you what I am learning and how I am working at winning this battle within.

First- I am reading the word almost every day.  I look up scriptures about worry and anxiety and I read all I can on how to win this battle through his Word and promises to us!

Second-  I am working out!  I have NEVER worked out like I am doing at this time.  While I may not be skinny or fit YET I feel more confident in myself.  I tell myself each day that I am closer then I was yesterday.  I firmly believe that exercise brings out the happy endorphins and I promise you it is a feeling you will love!  Try it!
I crave my gym time.!  I want to be strong, I want to reach my fitness goals and even beyond!  I want to not worry about what my hubby thinks when he looks at my body but most of all I want to love my body!   I want hubby to be proud of the hard work I put in to look good for him! (I know he already is because he tells me BUT I long for the day that I am just maintaining my rock hard body!!!  LOL)
Let's face it.....I know being skinny isn't everything but it sure feels good to wear whatever you want! It does NOT feel good to go shop for something to wear to an event only to come home depressed.  I am sick of those days for sure!

Third- I have changed my eating habits.  This is going to help me loose weight and just be healthier all around!  In turn I am instilling this into my kids and hubby!  Praise- the other day we were coming home from my moms and my boys wanted Jack in The Box so I got them two tacos each and they couldn't eat them!  They threw them away because we don't eat fast food anymore so now it's gross to us!

Fourth (Not really 4th)- I pray!  I pray pray pray!!!!  I rebuke the bad thought the minute it enters my mind.  (I am not alway successful at rebuking it but a lot of times I am!)  I try to replace it with something good.  A good memory or a good thought or a scripture that speaks to me!

Am I winning yet?  No!  Am I trying?  Yes!  But I will tell you it's an everyday battle but one that I will win!