Apr 26, 2015

My Fitness Journey Update!

Well it's been 4 months since I walked into Clydesman Fitness!  Wow........time sure flies!  I feel like the first month was rocky......it was so hard!  The hardest workouts I have ever done.  It wasn't until about the middle of February that I felt like I was in the grove of things and it was then that I switched to 5 days a week with my trainer!
I still am so scared of pull ups, even assisted, and I am just now doing better at burpees and I loose every challenge we do at the gym BUT I never quit!  I have the best two trainers and they don't let me quit and I really don't want too!

I went to my well woman check up on January 17 so that was a day I weighed and was disgusted once again!  Since that date I have lost ten pounds.  The last time I weighed was about a month ago when I was sick.  That was around March 24th.  I just can't bring myself to weigh again right now as I know if it doesn't show something I am happy with I will be discouraged!   Until that day I feel confident to weigh I will just do measurements and pictures.  I actually didn't do my measurements until March 11th so I have probably actually lost a little more.

Since then I have lost 2 inches off my waist and just this morning finally measured 1 inch off my hips!  They were staying the same.  ALL THE SQUATS!  We do a ton of squats!!!!  I can handle a small waist and big booty as long as it's a hard booty and not a giggly one!!!!  So those measurements are just in the last month......2 inches in one month!  I am happy!

I haven't taken any pictures in my same before outfit but will do that this week.  I did take a picture tonight after wearing a pair of shorts I bought last summer and I could not hold them up today!  I am putting these in the donation box for sure.

I will be honest here and say that I don't feel like the skin on my tummy area is going to bounce back.....I am forty!!!  I think it will be loose once I reach my goal so as I told my trainer come about December or January of next year if I go missing for a couple of weeks then you know I got that stuff fixed!  IE: tummy tuck!!!  LOL!  He says I won't need it......we shall see!!!

I am going to take all the other measurements this week.....arms, thighs, chest, etc........

Stay tuned!!!!!

Apr 14, 2015

My kid just doesn't measure up!

Is a lie!  A lie that the devil wants you to believe because if you, THEIR MOM OR DAD, believe that then so will your child one day!

Is your kid the one on the baseball field that is WAY out there in outfield picking the flowers or picking grass?  Is your kid the one that keeps that bench warm most of the time?  Is your kid the one that has to have the tutors just to pass that math class?  Is your child the shy one?  Or maybe your child is the very outgoing one that seems to, by some people's opinions, be way to outgoing?  Or maybe your child just didn't want to play sports or learn an instrument?  That list can go on and on by today's standards of what makes our children successful kids or even teenagers.

It's hard as a mom to watch all of those things.  Believe me I have been there.  I have been that mom.  I have been that mom that reads the Facebook status's about how this kid made honor roll, this one made all stars, this one got in this great college and so on......... and sometimes you feel sorry for yourself as a mom and your child because YOU know that your child is just as great as "the others".

But for a split moment the devil leads you to think your child is not as good as those kids.  Sometimes it even lasts longer than a split second.  But then I look at my child and I know that he (or she) was created by God and He does not make mistakes on how he makes us.

One day I decided that I was not going to dwell on what my kids can't do and start praising them for what they can do.....even if it doesn't involve any of the above mentioned!  That is a picture of what the world thinks they should be.....not what Christ wants them to be!   I wish more people could see that and really know it.

My oldest son has been at a crossroads so to speak the last few months.  He graduated from high school and we moved the next day.  He then went off to college only to learn that it wasn't for him right now.  He came home.  I know that he was embarrassed even though he has nothing to be embarrassed about.  He did nothing wrong.  Just wasn't ready.  He's questioned everything he's ever done academically and has doubted his ability to do anything many times over the last few months UNTIL he and I started praying together each night.

We pray simple prayers of "Lord, show us what your will is?"  "Lord, go before Taylor and make the path straight so that he knows without a doubt what he is to do in life."  We praise Him for the things he is going to do in Taylor's life and praise Him for all he has already done.

Over the last week or longer the Lord has revealed to Taylor and to me all the things he is good at the main one being computers.  That boy seriously is a computer genius.  I guarantee he could be an IT guy right now if a college degree wasn't needed.   But it is required.

I opened my Bible not to long ago and a piece of construction paper fell out.  I honestly do not remember putting it in my Bible but somehow it was there.  It was a paper that was Taylor's in the 4th grade and all of his classmates signed it and were to write something they liked about him.  EVERY kid in that class told him he was smart with computers.....and he had good hair!  LOL!  4th grade and  God planted had already planted that seed in him then!  I remember him coming home telling me he helped his teacher hook up her computer and he was so proud!

So see.....even that long ago when he was sitting the bench or picking flowers outfield trying to find what he was good at it was something that the "world" doesn't see.  We assume that because we don't see a child's talents that they don't have any.  That is not true!  Your child being great at computers in the 4th grade isn't Facebook worthy........it would sound weird to others!  It shouldn't but it would.

I think about my Jesse.......he is in the 4th grade now and is a work horse!  He played football this year and it was his first year and he was mostly a bench warmer.  That is fine though.....he had fun at practice and learning the game but at home he has taught himself everything there is to know about gooseneck trailers and big trucks!  HE LOVES trailers and trucks. He can tell you every brand make and model I think!  Maybe those things will be his passion in life somehow.  He loves to work and help prepare our farm.  Maybe that will be his gift.  Again, something we see, and God sees, but not the world!

I also have Noah.....who gets out there and tries his best at every sport he wants to play.  He LOVES basketball and football.  He isn't the best player but he's far from the worst.  He's an honor student and a go getter that never meets a stranger and I know God will lead him far in life.  To the world he is on his way to the all american dream and while I am so happy for him and can't wait to see what God's will is for his life I know it will be just as good as his brother's and sister.

So, I think my point to all of this is to tell you don't let the devil tell you that lie in your head that your kid is not as good as the jock that makes straight A's that will be going to the best college there is.  Pray and let God show you his/her gifts that maybe we the world don't see but you as mom or dad do!
And to the mom or dad that might be reading this thinking you failed somehow......you didn't!  You have a child that is just as special maybe even more as their life, gift and talents just look a little different.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

God Bless!!!

Apr 12, 2015

A Clean Slate.......

"I think that moving away to something foreign can strengthen your family's bond and your relationship with Christ.  A clean slate is a powerful thing."

That was what a sweet friend wrote to me this week in a message encouraging me after a rough couple of days.  She is such a sweet friend that I miss very much.  
I told her that I feel like I have changed in so many ways since moving here to the country.....to this simple life.

I started thinking about how she worded it and she is so right.  A clean slate.  Just what we got!  

I don't mean that we ran from anything or that I don't miss anyone but I know without a doubt that God brought us here so it made things somewhat easier.   For the last year we have really only had each other and our kids!  We spend lots of time just here at home preparing what we want to be a working farm really soon!   

Besides our first friend here (my life group leader) and her precious family I have been slowly making friends......starting with some of the most wonderful people at my little one's school.  Those are some amazing teachers and people that make that school run!  I have never had any reservations about putting them in public school.....in that school!  And for anyone that knows me knows that I have always had a huge fear of public school for my children.  I don't really know why......maybe it was because I was bullied really bad in high school but I was scared for them to be anywhere but our small private school that I knew inside and out!    

Then I have my gym friends!  I love all of the people I have met there.....they motivate me and cheer me on every day I am there.  I can't describe what that place has done for me!

I have met many people here that love the Lord just like I do.  They are good people here in my little town!  Big hearts and helping hearts.  There is not any comparison going on here......like who drives the best car, who has the best house, biggest house, most money, etc........ Everyone I have met here are what you see is what you get!  It has really humbled me.

For those that don't know I live smack dab in the middle of 52 acres and after I take my kids to school each morning it is dead quiet except the sounds of the birds and occasional cow mooing!  

Be still and know that I am God.........Psalm 46:10.  

I have had a LOT of quiet since coming here.  Lots of time for God to speak to me and change me.  Am I perfect?  Far from it and honestly it's been hard to hear some of what he has convicted me of.  Things I am not proud of......ways I am not proud of......judgements I have not been proud of.  The list really goes on!  
But the great thing is that when you ask for forgiveness and you truly repent of those things He wipes your slate clean!  A clean slate each day!  

It's hard to believe that we are coming up on one year of living here in our new little town and I wouldn't change anything but am so blessed that the Lord has changed me!  

Mar 19, 2015

Mothers Need to Stick Together!

I was thinking about how is it that mother's started bashing each other and not sticking together.  When is it that we quit trying to learn from each other?  When did we stop taking God's word to heart?  I mean really to heart.  Like refraining from judgement!

I read something one day and wrote it down to read often............here it is.

Let's aspire to use our mouths with Godly purpose.

To build......not to break.
To bless......not to badger.
To encourage.....not to embitter.
To praise.....not to pounce. ~Karen Ehman

That is such great advice that I think we can all use!  As mom's we should be building each other up and trying to find the good in each other.  We all have strength and weaknesses that we can learn from each other.  
You never know what that mom might be going through.

I was in a restaurant here in my new little town about 6 months ago and a young lady came in with her, I think, 4 kids.  Maybe three.  I can't exactly remember but I know that my little ones knew one of the boys from school. He is a doll.  He' friendly, outgoing, all boy!!!  The mom smiled and went on to their table.  She looked tired.  She looked like she had come from work.  They were a wild bunch much like my own table can be and was being at the time and she looked stressed.  She snapped at one of the kids very loudly where the restaurant quietened and suddenly there was an awkward silence but thankfully it didn't last long and people went on about their business.  

My first instinct was to judge her in my mind!  I wanted to say "seriously?  Did you have to yell at him like that?  Aren't you embarrassed for yourself?"  THEN.....suddenly I looked at her and God convicted me!  I felt sorry for her.  I realized that I bet she was a single mom that had probably worked all day and was feeding her kids after a long day.  I felt compassion for her and I knew I was supposed to stop right there and pray for her.  And I did!  

I wish I would have been brave enough to actually go and pray with her but I wasn't!  It doesn't matter though because I know God hears any prayer!  
I prayed that God would instantly calm her nerves and I prayed that blessings be poured on her as God sees fit.  I prayed that whatever she was going through that he give her strength and courage and that she be kept safe and healthy.  I prayed for her kids too!

I have since seen her kids many times and they are HAPPY little things so instead of remembering her one little outburst, and believe me we as mothers have all had them, I choose to praise her because she may not be doing it all right but she didn't something right for them to be so happy!  

So I leave you with this.........

Part of my New Year's prayer this year was to have eyes that always see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God!  To do all of that I also need to reevaluate myself and what I think and say!  We need to remember that you can learn something good from just about anyone you meet in life especially mothers whether they are seasoned ones or a brand new one!  Whether they are single mothers or married ones.  Whether they are working mom's or stay at home mom's!  We all do the best we can!  
God loves each one of us!

Mar 18, 2015

Practice what I Preach???

Wow.  Sometimes it's hard to practice what you preach!  My last blog entry was on heart break and how to get over one with God's help!

The day I wrote that I never would have thought that I would, that week, have a broken heart myself again!

It is the worst feeling.  My first instinct was to lash out and hurt in return but I feel God has been telling me to be still and be quiet.  So I am.  Is it easy?  No.  I have my weak moments every day.  I have cried many tears the last two weeks as I permanently close that chapter of my life.

My mother in law quoted this scripture to me when I told her about my heart break.........it was perfect!

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.  Luke 8:17

To me that scripture means that the truth will come out and anything that was lied about or talked about will be covered again with the truth!  I am claiming that.

My character means a lot to me and when it's questioned or twisted into something I know I am not it's hurtful especially when it was from someone that you love and thought loved you too.

I am a mother.  I have been one for 19 years and that is all I have ever wanted to be.  When I was little and someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up that is what I said.......a mother!

I am a good mother.  Am I a perfect one?  Gosh no but I try my hardest to do a good job.....the best I know how.  I pray for my kids almost everyday!  All of them.

I have been a really young mother and I am now an older more mature mother.  I do things differently then I did with Taylor, who is almost 19 but you know what?  Even at the ripe age of 22 and 20 we did a good job.  He's a good boy.  NEVER been in any trouble and pretty much tells us everything.....the good and the bad!  We laugh sometimes and say "Good Lord son.....I wish you would not have told me that!!!!"   (insert face with fingers in ears so I can't hear what he's saying!)  Marc has said many times "Well I sure wouldn't have told my mom that at your age!"  LOL
He isn't perfect and neither are his siblings but they are all created by God and loved by Him!

My point to all of this is........you can mess with me all you want.  I know that I can't make everyone happy and I don't always say and do the right things even though I seriously try to be the best friend, daughter, mom, and wife that I know how to be.  BUT.......don't mess with my kid!  ANY OF THEM!

People need to learn that words are so harmful.  Some people are strong and can let things roll off their back but some people let words stick with them for a long time.......sometimes forever.  I am one of those people and so is one of my kids.  I am working on helping myself and that child in this area.

I am trying to learn that our REAL friends know us and love us and I pray that people that don't really know us see Jesus in us and can make their own judgement.

Gossip is hurtful.  It's wrong and it's so damaging.  Have I been guilty of it?  Of course.  We all have but a couple of weeks ago I was so hurt from pure gossip that I vowed to never do it again!
If they gossip with you.....they will gossip about you!  THAT I know is true!!!!

Something you "heard" is not fact.
Something someone says about someone and you are listening.....guess what?  You are gossiping too!  Something you hear and turn around and retell and add your own "facts" is gossip!
Gossip is a sin!  Go read about it in the Bible.  It's scary!  But so good at the same time.

I will end with saying that aside from a handful of very special people and a little of our family the chapter of my life back "home" is closed.  I realized that when I went home a couple of weeks ago.  I have great memories and some really good friends that I will love and cherish forever but Sarita is now my home.

And a P.S.......mom's should stick together.  Not judge each other and each others children!  It doesn't matter who's kid is smarter, who's kid is in more sports, who has more money, or better cars, bigger house, what college they go to or will go to, or whatever.......we are all the same and all created by the same God!

Sorry to rant.......from now on I will certainly TRY to always practice what I preach!

Mar 2, 2015

A Broken Heart!

Have you ever had a broken heart?  I know I have.  Lots of times.  I have had a broken heart over small things that seemed huge to me at the time and some really big things that can still seem big to me to this day!

Our preacher preached on this yesterday and I will share the video at the bottom for anyone that might want to hear his sermon.  It could possibly be the best sermon I have heard to this day.  I know that it hit home for me and I cried a LOT!  And laughed some because he can be so funny too!  What was amazing was he actually stopped during his sermon because he felt the Holy Spirit so much that he took a second to honor and thank him for his Word!  I felt that too.  I knew that this was MY sermon.  One that I needed to hear!

Do you know what breaks a heart?  Unmet expectations.

I was thinking of my life and realized that I have/had a LOT of unmet expectations in my life.  From the time I was a little girl I put expectations on people.  My mom and dad were first!  I expected them to be married and us be a family forever.  They could not meet that expectation.  That was my first heart break.  It was horrible!  I took it really bad.  I STILL have issues to this day because of their divorce and in turn I have always put expectations on my husband that he can never possibly meet and so he has broken my heart at times also.

The feeling of a heart break can be physically painful.  My stomach hurts, my chest can hurt, I don't eat or sleep!  It's bad.  I mentally replay things over and over and most of all you feel lonely!
But you aren't alone.  God is there.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  He is there.

But as Pastor Bil said yesterday......God is closer than you think.  He is always there.  He already knows your pain.  He knew it before you did and took it all to the cross with him!

I can remember my worst heart break....even more so than my parents divorce.  The day my husband left me and our kids.  I felt so alone.  I felt like God didn't even love me.  I felt like he abandoned me.  My heart was literally broken in two.  It physically hurt to breathe.  I was embarrassed, ashamed and broken.
BUT....it took about a day for me to realize that He had not abandoned me and that I was not alone.  He was there all along and He was working in me and in my husband.  This was a trial and even with a broken heart I was going to survive and be better for it.

Pastor Bil said that if you get quiet enough in your crying you can actually hear God crying with you and that hit me.  He is right!  I know God has cried with me many times then tells me to GET UP, SHOW UP and PUT UP A FIGHT!

I did that.  I fought through my broken heart and fought for my marriage and for my husband when he didn't want to.  I knew I needed to pray for this man that left me!  That didn't want me anymore.  That was breaking our family up!  BUT I DID IT!  It wasn't easy and sometimes I didn't even know what to say.    BUT I WON!   I truly believe that God blessed me for it.

Again as Bil said...."he breathed a breath of fresh air on my life and my marriage!"  

Are we perfect?  Gosh no!!!  We have to work at it.  EVERY DAY!  I have to go to God every single day for my marriage but I am so thankful for that broken heart at that time for I wouldn't have the husband and the marriage I have now.

He wants to be there for all of us and heal our broken hearts but we have to go to him and sometimes, like with me, a broken heart can grow you into a better man or better women!

I feel like maybe the Lord breaks our hearts to make our heart right with Him.

Here is his sermon for any that would like to watch...........

Feb 26, 2015

What a Typical Workout Is for Me!

Today’s work out!

Row for 10 minutes to warm up

Bench Press and Push ups

(Right now for more than just a few reps I can only bench press the bar which is about 45 lbs....sometimes he will add tens but I can't do to many of those!) I have horrible upper body strength.  I still have to do push ups on my knees but they are getting better!

(1 BP then 10 push ups, 2 BP then 9 push ups, 3 BP then 8 push ups…..all the way down to 10 BP and 1 push up)

Then I have 8 minutes to do…. (I completed one and a half rounds)

200 meter row

6 steps overs on the box

10 hanging knee ups (hanging from the bar and bringing your knees up)

15 shoulder press  (again I use the 45 lb bar)

20 kettle bell swings

30 jump ropes singles

Repeat that but only had 7 minutes to do it and again completed one a half rounds but shaved a minute off my time!


Today I burned about 500 calories and my heart rate got up to about 175 during that time.  I mostly stay at 160 which is good.  It got to 185 one time which isn't to good......or could be bad!  

I am in my second week of 5 day a week training and I still love it!  I can't wait to see my results a year from now.  I am already seeing myself getting stronger and things are getting somewhat easier for me.  SOME THINGS!  Not all!!!  

My body is changing and I am still working on getting the nutrition part right but that will come I know.  I am educating myself and reading everything I can on nutrition and how your metabolism and body works.  

I am thankful for my trainer and friends I have made at my gym that push me to do my best which is always more than I think I can!

I DEAD LIFTED 195#'s last night!  That is HUGE for me!!!!  I was proud!  

I could go on and on about what my gym has done for me but I will stop now!  That is another day!  Have a great day friends......it's beautiful here at Sarita Farms!  Do something active!!!!!